Yes I do smile 😃. But the truth is crying 😢getting hard from me. I am under attack and loneliness is eating me. I get lonely for I thirst for friends. Yes my family loves me but I hunger for someone other than them.

I felt so empty and I hate for not crying. I understand it as I’m lost. I do believe in Jesus and only Him can filled my emptiness. I need accountability partners, fellow believers of Him.

I’m getting even lazy to read though I love to read book. I even smell the scent of it before buying. Now I read more a softcopy which I hate.

I pray God strengthens me for me to attend singles ministry again. I miss it so much. I do understand my parents and siblings are just concern to my health.

I understand the pain, I understand that Multiple Sclerosis is still unsolved. Like most who are diagnosed I also dream it will be Mystery Solve. God lead me to mystery that even many specialists who encountered me asked why I’m able to retain being jolly.

God’s love overflows and I can’t help not to be joyful. That’s why I’m calling it My Saviour. No one can even noticed it for my strength is from the LORD.

LORD, You’re majestic and my strength. I have nothing to boast. Cleanse me LORD and removed everything that threatens my relationship to You. Forgive me for being easily swayed. To go to my desires which I think can complete me which temporary, which absolutely against Yours. I may not fully comprehend what’s happening to me. Let Your will be done not mine.

In Jesus name, AMEN.

“How great are God’s riches! How deep are his wisdom and knowledge! Who can explain his decisions? Who can understand his ways? As the scripture says, “Who knows the mind of the Lord? Who is able to give him advice? Who has ever given him anything, so that he had to pay it back?” For all things were created by him, and all things exist through him and for him. To God be the glory forever! Amen.

Romans 11:33‭-‬36 GNT


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